What do you do when your actions are questioned? What do you do when
others think your conduct might be viewed as inappropriate or
politically incorrect by some, but for whatever reason they decide
to share their feelings with everyone but you? What do you when that
person is in a supervisory capacity?
Do you:
Ignore it and move on?
Secretly plot the demise of that person?
Add sugar to their gas tank so the engine seizes?
Retaliate with similar attacks?
Reformat their entire hard drive?
Steal their blackberry?
Post mean things about them on MySpace?
Find that video........you know the one.......and post it to
YouTube?
Years ago I was in this type of a situation; a supervisor who looked
me in the face and used the following words; "Rich, you have
something that works. These people love you. You're not going to
change it and I'm not going to try to change you. Of course I wish
you would change, but people love your style." Now the conversations
behind my back were very different. She complained and bitched to
the management team about my actions. Yep, she turned her head in
support of my actions when talking to me, but then towed the company
line behind my back. Well all that changed one day when one of those
other management people approached me and shared the concerns.
So...what do you do? Someone has a problem with you; but just whines
about you behind your back; perhaps to look good?
This is what you do... You ignore the person who came to share the
news and you go right to the source. And if that person is BIG
ENOUGH, they apologize for giving you mixed messages; then you
forgive and the two of you move on. That's what communication is all
about. Organizations need to stop encouraging communication and
actually start communicating a bit more. That is how you earn
respect and trust of the people you work with - by using
face-to-face communication; not email or texting or making believe
the situation does not exist or will go away. You face the dragon
head on; especially when you feel you're right.
And that is what happened; I faced the dragon. She apologized for
whining and complaining behind my back. She apologized for giving me
mixed messages and reinforced that my style and approach reached a
completely different customer base. She even shared how there were
others (management) who supported my ways and that I was regularly a
topic of conversation. I accepted her apology - I knew it was real.
Our professional relationship went to a very different place after
that - a better place. And I must say, it was the last time I ever
heard about political correctness concerns - at least from her.
So let me ask you to think about this... Look around your
organization and ask yourself if there is a dragon you need to face.
And if you are the dragon, how are you going to handle it when
someone approaches you in the right? Will you acknowledge the error
or come up with some ridiculous reason or excuse to cover your
tracks?
By Rich DiGirolamo
Rich DiGirolamo is a professional speaker from
Wolcott, CT. He calls himself The Big Kid and enjoys "making painful
processes fun." To learn more about Rich please visit
richdigirolamo.com
